Loneliness: a conscious choice or unconscious need?

And increasingly, you can hear the phrase: "there are so many people, and I am one." Why? Is it because that live communication is increasingly being replaced in our virtual or, at worst, phone? It is much easier to type SMS than to call. And much more important to go to a meeting with one hundred thousandth millionth client firms than play snowballs with the child or bring a loved one in the movie ...

Where are you people? Hey! Hid behind a monitor ... and already stretched her fingers to keyboard to write a new comment on the article or "knock in ICQ:" Hi, where gone? Long time no see you here ... And get up from the table crunch numb limbs and knock on the real, "live" the door's best friend, waiting when it opened, saying "Come with me ..." is almost impossible. And why? It is much easier to write another email inviting them to walk and forget about it, having covered the next bunch of cases.

We substitute for strong, deep connection, fleeting encounters. Make a choice between love and burdensome intimate adventure in favor of the latter. Consciously reject the friendship and affection, to be able to enjoy freedom like a ghostly hero Albert Camus ... Why?

What is loneliness? Conscious choice or unconscious need? Finishing his next cup of coffee lonely, I understand that this is neither the one nor the other. Loneliness - the fear of losing their I, dissolving into another person ... an unexpected conclusion? Look at yourself!

10 Men's Mistakes During The Development Of Relations

Top 10 reasons why men fall short of women, and our attempt to tell you how to avoid these dangerous pitfalls.

ERROR 1: You do not need too much replay in the "good guy"

I guess you had already remarked that a truly beautiful woman is never attracted to such things are "good guys"? Of course, noticed.
Similarly, as we do, you have probably been pretty girlfriend interested in you, but, in fact, not adjusted to you romantically. What does this mean? It's very simple.
The fact that women do not base their choice on how "good" (cute, funny) guy. They choose the men, from which comes the inner power and strength. On the question Why? Already too much has been written.
In general, playing the "good guy" before a woman you will never make her feel your inner strength. And if you'll be "good" if you will assist and cooperate with a woman - it does not mean that a woman will choose you. Rather - on the contrary.
We understand that in this argument a little logic, but, nevertheless, take it as an objective reality. As long as you accept it as fact, you'll never have success with women.

Mistake 2: Do not try to convince her to love you

what makes the most of the guys when they communicate with their strongly attracts a woman who meets her coldness and indifference? Right! They are trying to persuade a woman to treat them differently.
Well, we've got news for you. You'll never make a woman COUNT YOU ATTRACTIVE IF SHE DOES NOT FEEL THAT ITSELF.
Never, never, never!
Think about it.
If a woman does not feel within you that she needs, then how are you going to change her opinion of you? No need to convince her, it will not take any logic or reasoning. However, for some reason we're all for it. Because we are men, and we think a more straightforward and open.
When women are not interested in us, we begin to beg, plead, chase, and do everything we can to make her change her mind. This is - a bad way. Not worth it to apply, for work he never will be.

Mistake 3: Do not keep an eye on her for support or endorsement

In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly take to be a way to win their love), we guys are always doing things for which you are trying to get "approval" or "permission" of the woman.
Another horrible way.
Women are NEVER attracted to men who are literally trail before them.
Do not get us wrong.

You should not treat women badly, but if you think you have a good relationship means to your every act of obtaining the approval or permission from her to further action, in that case you need to reconsider their position. You never seek approval of their actions in a woman. In fact, women are guys are simply annoying. Doubt? Ask any beauty, familiar or unfamiliar.

Error 4: Attempting to "buy" her affection expensive treats and gifts

How many times is it that you drove a woman in expensive restaurants, buy her gifts and flowers, but for some reason she give you up and went to someone who did not make even half of what it did for you?
With us, it is also happening. And more than once.
What's the matter, you ask? The actions of women are quite reasonable and natural. Yes, exactly, of course.
In doing so, you would like to send her a message: "I do not think that you love just me, me, and this is who I am, so I'm Try to buy your attention and affection."
Your good intentions at first glance, women are regarded as a defensive response to your insecurities and thirst for attention, as well as a pathetic attempt to manipulate them.

ERROR 5: It is too early you're trying to show how you think about it

Another huge mistake a failure that makes most men to women is that the former are too slow to show women how they like them.
Rarely see an attractive woman. However, the women of this type receive much attention from men.

Most men do not understand this, do not realize that an attractive woman several times a day become objects of attention from men. Per day to fit it to meet several males, one week they recruited a few dozen, and a month - hundreds of them. Such women are often prescribed date. And they have experience, they know what to expect. There is one sure way to lower her interest in you and speed your parting. No woman does not like the guy on first and second date starts to load it, how much he loves her.

This sends a signal to women that you - one of those guys who are crazy about her and can not hold back his feelings, can not control myself.
Do not do it. It is better to lean back and relax. There is a way much better ...

ERROR 6: The attractiveness in the understanding of women - some are not what they think about this man

Women are VERY different from men regarding sex selectivity, and craving. You must accept this de facto and always keep that in mind.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But what happens in such cases in women?
Whether a woman feels sexual attraction to men based mostly on what she sees? Or something else has it impact?

Our long experience in studying intersexual relations allows us to say with certainty: women have their own "drive mechanisms, caused by some other incentives, in addition to the visual. Women more attracted to certain internal qualities in men, they are increasingly turning their attention inward of the senses in a society of individual men. And, if these feelings are pleasant and relaxed, the man likes a woman.

If you will be skillfully own body language, you can make any woman feel the same powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel and when you see a curvy, sexy young woman.
And it's not a chaotic event, it can be controlled. You should outline the plan of development in this direction. And we assure you that ANY guy can learn this ...

ERROR 7: Do not think that a woman is interested in only your looks and money

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is that they give up prematurely, when they have not even begun to fight. All this happens because of what they think, if beautiful women are interested only in those men who have money and good looks ... or those who have achieved in the lives of some of the heights ... or, for example, men of a certain age.
I'm sure there are, of course, and such women, but, fortunately, a minority. Most women are much more interested in individual men, not his wallet or his looks. Have individual character traits men that attract women like a magnet ...

And if you learn what kind of features and how to use them for yourself to enjoy, you can achieve a lot in relationships with women.
You do not have to "opt out" of women just because you're not rich, low, or ugly.
Once again, we repeat: If you will skillfully own body language, you can make any woman feel the same powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel and when you see a curvy, sexy young woman.

ERROR 8: Do not give all your energy for women

Previously, we have already seen this error in paragraph 3: "No need to constantly look at the women, seeking their support and encouragement." This error - some generalized version of the error 3.
Another similar tactic used by most of the guys is that they give all their energy to women.
In other words, the guys try to win the love of a woman doing everything she would ask. Moreover, in excessive quantities.
Another bad idea ...
Women never attracted to men who go with them on a leash ... Women are not attracted to rags!

ERROR 9: You really do not know how to deal with any situation with women

Now we are going some to question your assumptions ...
In fact, that women always know what you think. Women are about ten times better than men to read body language.
I know it's hard to believe. But, for example, you're on a date with a woman and want to kiss her - she knows about it. And if you do not exactly know what to do and how to kiss her, but just sitting there looking at her, and nervous, then it will not help you! Do not even try!
And so will in all situations. Will you have her phone number, if you kiss her, whether to invite to her home, she almost never will you help ... In any situation, you must act itself and should know for sure what to do. If you do not know what to do, you're guaranteed to do everything wrong and find yourself under the threat of all is lost.
And you know about this.
It is vital that you knew and counted each step with a woman who knew how to step by step ... from the very first meeting, bring it to the bedroom, did not make any fatal mistakes.

ERROR 10: Reluctance to get help from her

This - the biggest mistake of all the above.
This is - a mistake that prevents most men even expects to succeed with women who really like them.
I know guys do not like to look weak or helpless. We do not like to ask for help.
A man, yes, we ourselves were in this situation! Every man instinctively feels his desire to never tell a woman the words "I do not know," "fear," "doubt" and so on, each man ready to put on a lot not to lose a woman in any sport or any game of chance, and Finally, almost all men do not want and can not receive the attention and gifts from women. But it often hurts them.
Reading the body language of men, a woman finds that it is notorious, that he is ready to build around him all sorts of protective barriers, so as not to show their "weakness", its "dependence" on women, their ability to love and feel.

Such a man becomes closed, a nervous and irritable. The woman sees this, and this behavior she does not like. Internally, it understood that only the truly strong man is not ashamed to be who he really is. He does not need to defend and to hide his essence - he is confident, he seemed to inform the woman: "I am honest with you. I want you to be taken of the man who is inside me. If you can not do that, then I was mistaken in you, and we have different road. "

Sex During Critical Days

Sex this for each separate chapter of his life, but often we have questions related to this occupation. It's no secret that sex is different, and always wants to try something new. However, there are some reasons that we at some time denying you the pleasure. One of those reasons - menstruation.

People are still hovering at a loss, so can you have sex during menstruation, and can you get pregnant, but what about STDs? It is necessary to get into the Internet, and you'll stumble on the many opinions, some think that it is possible, others can not. Some just some completely against it. How many people have many opinions. So how does it really?
I think for many is an important question whether it is possible to get pregnant, if not take precautions during menstruation? The answer is definitely - yes! You can get pregnant, it's more going on the structure of the body and your ovulation cycle, and especially the big risk is for those women who have unstable cycle of ovulation. So it is better not to risk once again.

Apart from pregnancy during menstruation increases risk of developing diseases that are sexually transmitted, because on such days, our bodies particularly susceptible to the bacteria and released a little grease, so that even during menstruation is recommended to use condoms. Besides the risk of disease are not only you but also your partner. Because blood can get to him in the urinary canal.

It's no secret that the girls during menstruation sensitivity and excitability. Therefore, like sex more than usual and that is why sections of the site or forums testimony full of questions... But everyone must decide for himself whether he do that in those days. Usually, if the pair meets a sufficient amount of time, then by mutual desire, there is nothing wrong with that. However, it should still try to avoid such contacts. Because benefit from this you will not get.
For some Sex during menstruation is a psychological problem. Not everyone can do it when the red army is coming. Some guys had flatly refused to have sex during menstruation.

Most likely, they scare a lot of blood, or unhygienic process. But do not be afraid, it's not such a dirty process. We must sensibly address this issue, underneath a bed sheet or towel. Have a number of packages on the table napkins.
However, not only the guys are afraid of sex during menstruation, most girls to this question came up in disgust. Women's embarrassing, as a beloved man sees her blood. But remember that there are no huge puddles. The maximum that you have there will be a few drops of blood, and the guy on the genitals remain blood. If a guy loves you, and you love him, but by itself will not be any squeamishness.

If we approach this issue with a share of attention, and with a regular partner then there is nothing wrong if occasionally have sex with menses. Moral training, a couple of towels, napkins and condoms. Here is the complete set for sex during critical days.

Kiss on the rules of science

Science kiss: What do our lips "- the so-called book, which launched earlier this year employee of the University of Texas Sheryl Kirschenbaum. As the evolution of our ancestors made contact with his lips as red lipstick subliminal men and why animals do not kiss - we still do not know much about kissing.

Let's be honest: a kiss is actually never a simple touch. In most cultures, it is a romantic and erotic symbolism - from Shakespeare's tragedies to the gilded embrace of lovers on the legendary paintings of Gustav Klimt, from drinking brotherhood to the sacramental phrase, "The groom may kiss the bride." Sometimes a kiss is affection, delight, devotion, or in the case of the biblical Judas kiss, gives the mask a traitor. Show-biz operates kisses for other purposes: to recall the scandal of Britney Spears kissing Madonna, or the numerous alleged amorous episodes every reality show.

The rich cultural history of the kiss makes it sound so natural that this naturalness is bordered by the commonplace. But no - we still do not know much about kissing, says University of Texas employee Sheryl Kirschenbaum. Science kiss: What do our lips "- the so-called book, which she released earlier this year. Here, lots of interesting stories:

about how evolution has forced our ancestors into contact with his lips, like bright red lipstick subliminal hunter, seated deep in every modern man, as the exchange of saliva, improves immunity and why animals do not kiss each other.
In an interview with American magazine «Salon» Sheryl Kirschenbaum said that new readers would like to tell in his book.

There are several theories about how the kiss came. Many psychologists will tell you that lips are allocated to the person of color, and it attracts attention. The brighter the color, the more it attracts the eyes (this is the issue of lipstick). Neuroscientists believe that the softness in other people's lips the ancient people were looking for pleasant sensations, similar to those experienced at eating ripe juicy fruit. The color of their skin, usually red tones - like the color of the lips. So, those of our ancestors, who speedily others reacted to this color "signal" to pump more delicious food, and increased their chance of survival.

From an evolutionary perspective it might be thus a mechanism that causes us to instinctively focus on the lips of another person. Wonderful argument in favor of manufacturers of cosmetics, which for decades excel in the manufacture of various shades of lipstick.

The fact that a kiss can be fun, people learn early in life, during breastfeeding. During this process, the mother and the child produced oxytocin - a hormone provokes feelings of gratitude and affection. Gradually, these feelings begin to associate directly with a kiss. Statistics gathered by scientists proves that the more couples kiss, the stronger their relationship. Such is the vicious circle: the love pushes us to kiss, but kisses are the guarantor of love.

It is noteworthy that in many cultures, a kiss is absent, and it will agree to some extent calls into question his evolutionary theory. European researchers have the 1800's are often encountered in Africa, with curious moments, it is associated with intimate-cultural incongruities. Even went to an anecdote about how a scientist in love with the daughter of a certain leader, and one night, mustered courage and tried to kiss her. A girl woke the whole family scream: she was afraid that the fans want to eat it.

And absolutely nothing. Modern science has proven that a good kiss is very positive effect on the body. The pulse quickens, the muscle tone increases, the nerves calm down, produces dopamine - the hormone dependence, the one that stimulates the production of certain drugs such as cocaine, and that makes us yearn for the pleasure. Another neurotransmitter, whose level increases with a kiss - is serotonin, which causes an obsession. In the blood of his love of straight-away rolls over. Some sexologists believe that is why prostitutes refuse to kiss with their customers - on their experience they know how trivial effect on the physiology of emotions.

Attitude to kiss significantly different in men and women. The stronger sex on them depends much less, but more often considered a criterion for "good kisser" weight in selecting the partner. A weaker sex assessment of quality at the forefront is not intended, dating back to the potential to elect less critical (but only in matters of technique, but hygiene is very important), but a prelude to sex without kissing almost can not imagine. Many men believe that a kiss - a great gesture at last, before parting, as a way to put a point in the relationship. And women give almost every kind of kiss meaning, often trying to figure out what he says about the feelings of the partner.

Now, when hundreds of thousands of pairs of virtual substitute for real communication, a kiss more impaired. His expounded a blatantly on the "emoticons" and inserted almost in every sentence. "People spend a lot of time in correspondence, while it was enough to present a single kiss, to immediately understand much about each other - Shirley says Kirshenbaum. - Kiss plays the role of a litmus test given to us by nature in order to better orient in their own and others' feelings. neglect this way is inexcusable, and at least silly. "

How To Love A Stranger?

At different times there are different preferences in fashion, style. But some things will always remain constant. This is something that draws attention to the man in the first place when you look at the woman. Of course, we can say that it's eyes. After all, sometimes only a single glance sufficed to fall in love with someone. But now we will talk not about the magic eye, and about other criteria by which to assess the attractiveness of men by women.

The first thing we always pay attention - its hair, well, or hairstyle. Hair should always be clean. Never allow yourself to go out with dirty and greasy hair. Awesome sight is a woman with a gathered in a ponytail with unwashed hair, or even worse - loose.

If you are used to dye your hair, it is important not to overdo it. Hair color should be as close to natural. That is, it is best to make your natural color is richer, brighter and you will see how you will react to the men. Of course, you can experiment with hair coloring, but a radical change in style is not suitable for every woman.

Recommended daily care of their hair, using special tools to do styling, hairstyle. If your hair is long, it can be a lot of things to come up with hair, as well to use bright beautiful barrettes. Avoid split ends on hair, old rubber bands and pins.

Next to that man always pay attention - this is hands and nails. Beautiful nail polish or false nails - that's the key to success for every woman. If you do not always have time to go to a professional technician, we can themselves lead hands and nails in the normal form by using different tools, nail files, creams. Even just a short-cut nails, coated with clear lacquer finish, create an impression of well-groomed and beautiful.

And the last one - its shoes. We can say that the shoes - this is what creates the main image of every woman. The most important thing is that shoes should always be clean and appropriate. If you go to a restaurant or theater, I recommend high heels or with different dyeing, sequins, ribbons. At work you can wear shoes with a small heel.

But despite all this, of course is of great importance the mind and sense of humor by women. Even if the lady has gorgeous hair, manicured hands and chic shoes, she also has to be charming, gentle, and graceful. Therefore, you must love yourself regardless of the growth, appearance, and complexion. Each of you is unique and unrepeatable, unique. Let men acquaintances and strangers to love you and admire you!